Greetings from the Sunshine State!

Welcome, friends!

While I've lived in the great yet unimaginably screwed up state of Florida for most of this decade, I cannot call myself a Florida native. But wait, Steve, you may be asking, what gives you the right to blog exclusively about a state in which you weren't even born? You may have a point, dear reader, but before you get on my case, I'd like to ask you to perform a simple task: name one native Floridian.

Give up?

That's right, you can't, because it's been statistically proven that no one has ever been born in Florida [citation needed]. Florida is the state to which you move when you retire, or to whence you flee when your failed real estate dealings in Hoboken have forced you to declare bankruptcy and legally change your name. Hence, Florida has been dubbed with the following nicknames:

- The Sunshine State
- Death's Waiting Room (also shared with Arizona)
- America's Wang
- The Second Chance State

There's a reason why the news link site FARK has an entire category devoted exclusively to the stupid/sad/sick news stories emanating from Florida. With such a treasure trove of material from which to work, and given my diverse work experience as a ride attendant (i.e., button-pusher), real estate salesperson (pre-housing market crash), overpriced-yet-underpaid tutor, liquor store shift manager, broke-ass college student, and finally faux rocket scientist, I'm sure there will be plenty of things to talk about.